A Fairytale Party
14 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in fairytales, faries, fractured fairytales
I made this story up for a special event we’ll be having at work early next year. The idea is that a group (this ones for 20 odd children) form a circle. Each person gets the name of a character and when that characters name is mentioned in the story they have to get up and run around the circle. You can play it that if they don’t get up for their characters they’re out, but I’m not that mean…we’ll just tease them instead.
nce upon a time…
Jack was having a party to celebrate his new riches. He’d got the goose that laid golden eggs and harp from the giant and had become an entrepreneur overnight. With the eggs from the goose and the money hiring the harp to play at high-end parties and folk eisteddfods, Jack had bought all the land surrounding his once tiny hovel. From the hole left by the fallen giant he made a bottom-shaped swimming pool. The old hovel was knocked down and an eco-lodge was built using the stump of the beanstalk. It was a modern marvel and he wanted to show it off to the world. As a consequence Jack sent invitations out to only the best Everafter:
Mr Big Bad Wolf and Ms Red Riding of the hood
Little Pigs 1,2,3 at their high rise apartment block
Cinderella, the Evil Step sisters and Stepmother
Frog Prince, in his pond in the palace
Hansel and Gretel living out at the Gingerbread house
The Emperor who was rumoured to have a wonderful set of new clothes
Goldilocks, and the Bear Family of the woods
Snow White and the seven dwarfs at their mining company
Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty at their palace at a sleepy seaside town
At the appointed time and place the guests started to arrive. Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty were first as Sleeping Beauty wasn’t a night person and needed her beauty sleep. Big Bad and Red Riding of the Hood were next draped over each other, The wolf couldn’t keep his paws off Red. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves came in a long stretch limo. Snow White was draped in jewels from the mining operation show that going off to work was good for business. The Dwarves fell over each other to be the one to walk her into the party. Cinderella came with her evil step family, the two sisters and mother in tow. Though the step sisters felt this party was beneath them, their mother thought if she could marry one of her ugly daughters off to Jack that would be one less she would have to worry about. As a consequence Stepmother spent a lot of time talking up her two ugly daughters to Jack. Cinderella made herself useful serving out finger food. The Frog Prince arrived and made himself useful around the BBQ keeping the flies away. He and Cinderella seemed to hit it off, at least to judge by the amount of times she found flies in the hor’dourves. Goldilocks came alone as The Bears had wanted to walk to the party. Unfortunately Goldilocks was out of control and she was soon complaining about the food and breaking the furniture. Pappa bear, Mamma bear and Baby Bear sometime soon later and put Goldilocks to bed. Hansel and Gretel after literally eating themselves out of house and home were desperate for a handout and started chewing on the beanstalk before Jack informed them it was structural and directed them to the Frog Prince and Cinderella at the BBQ. The three little pigs arrived late having locked themselves out of their ultra secure apartment block. They made their apologies to Jack and dived into the giant bottom-shaped swimming pool. And finally, will all the pomp and splendour that an Emperor can muster he arrived fashionably late. Everyone bowed their heads as he passed, not only out of respect but because they didn’t know where to look, but his presence certainly lead the party a certain prestige.
Jack was pretty pleased with how his party was going. The Harp had a good dance grove playing and Prince Charming was dancing with Snow White while Sleeping Beauty slept beside the pool. The seven dwarves stood around the BBQ talking shop while bored Ugly Sisters tried to look interested hoping to score themselves a short rich husband. Red and Big Bad started a water polo game against Hansel and Gretel in one buttock of the pool while Cinderella and Frog Prince were having a breast stroke race in the other.
The Bear family were helping themselves to the BBQ and chatting with the other guests when Goldilocks awoke grumpy from her nap. She raged through the house threw away things she thought were tacky, peed in the pool, told the Emperor to his face he had no fashion sense and called Sleeping Beauty a lazy git. Prince Charming now with sobbing Sleeping Beauty to comfort left in a huff. Without the Prince, Snow White and the Wicked Stepmother both felt they had no real reason for staying and also left, Snow White followed by her trusty business partners, the seven dwarves.
It was about then, the giant arrived. As you can imagine, Jack had not invited him. The giant looked down forlornly at Jack who was reaching into his cupboard for his axe when the giant spoke.
“I’ve been wandering friendless in this land ever since you cut down that beanstalk. After you robbed me of my joy and wealth, chopped down the only way back to my home in the clouds and left me for dead I’m homeless and penniless. I need a job. As I see it you owe me.” Jack, who was always quick-witted, saw a way of dealing with his obligation to the giant and getting rid of that party-pooping Goldilocks.
“As a matter of fact, I could use your help with Goldilocks, she’s a menace. Tell ya what, you can be bouncer for tonight’s party and I’ll see ya right with an egg from the goose, can’t say fairer than that!” The giant agreed and went straight to work. It was nothing for him to pick up Goldilocks and drop her outside the property. The three bears followed fearful that she’d get lost getting home if they didn’t go too. A cheer went up from the party goers, unfortunately the happiness was short-lived. Next to go was the Emperor as the giant informed him it was against common decency if not the law to go out in public with no clothes on. He caught Hansel and Gretel making pea soup in the bedrooms and threw them out for vandalism and bad cooking. The Big Bad Wolf and Red Riding of the hood were kissing in a corner of the garden when the giant said they would have to stop if they wanted to stay. They didn’t, they left. The giant threw the three little pigs out for hogging the pool and making pigs of themselves at the BBQ. Cinderella and the Frog Prince, seeing the party was over made a quick exit and spent the evening dancing at the local hop. Finally, with the support of the two ugly sisters the giant threw Jack out of his Eco lodge. Jack looked up at the house he had so recently owned and shrugged his shoulders.
“Ya win some, ya lose some.” He said to no one in particular as he pocketed a few magic beans and went to seek his fortune somewhere over the horizon.
